"Wanderer"... Hmmm?

As I am as excited in writing my first blog, I noticed that I entitled it "Scribbles of a Wanderer"...

Two things, deep or corny. Ha ha! Anyway, why in the world did I name it like that? Wanderer? What comes into mind when we speak of a "Wanderer"? Someone who is lost, astray, or someone who is at an acrobatic show. ;-) Well, I sure am not lost, or astray.. and I'm positive I do not know anyone in the acrobatic business.

As a matter of fact, I am happy in my life. I'm happy I have a nice family. I'm happy with my love life, and that's it. I'm happy.

I know lots of people out there, who are struggling very hard to find happiness, but me, I guess luck (or it can even be a blessing, or it can also be how you perceive things in your own life) just found me at the right time, at the right place and at the right moment. ;-)

What else can I possibly want for? Well, I could use some clothes... ;-) Having kids can change your wardrobe very rapidly ;-)

Seriously, what else could I possibly do if I am happy and contended?

When we were kids, we are asked by many on how we perceive ourselves when we grow up, or what we would like to be when we're all grown up?

When I was a kid, I couldn't even answer that question. I remember writing in my paper that I wanted to be a model! Ha ha, that's hilarious! But then my pre-school teacher frowned, and I just ended up writing that I wanted to be a secretary so as to finish the assigned work. And when I told my mom about me being a model, she immediately shut the idea, and killed my spirit. Okay, that was mean, but that's how I really felt alright?

I don't know, I just really don't know what I wanted to be. When I went home that morning and asked my mom, she suggested that I'd be a flight attendant.When I asked my dad, all he said was that I didn't have to worry too much about that because I still have a long time ahead to think about it.

Now that I have my own family, I'm still stunned by the idea. Does that mean that I don't have a dream, an aspiration or even an ambition on what I want to be for the rest of my life? And if I don't, would that make me abnormal? Can't I just enjoy what's happening in my life now? If I choose to enjoy my life and not think ahead, would there be consequences?

That simple question dawned on me several years back when I was applying for a job as a pre-school teacher at our hometown. My husband was studying at law school and I wanted to help with our finances so I was looking for a job near home.

My husband and I came across this little kid's place, and so when I applied there, there was this questionnaire wherein they'd test your personality by giving a phrase, and you'd have to complete it by finishing the phrase with the first thing that comes into your mind. Believe me, it was pretty traumatic for me. Some of the questions there were; I always complain about ___________, or I've always dreamt of ________ as a child, or My mom once told me___________, or My dad taught me how to _________ , and so on, and so forth....

Horrible, it was horrible I tell you! It goes on, and seemed that it won't end! I don't know, but to me it was sickening. It's either that or I just didn't know myself very well at that time. Okay, maybe the last remark is more appropriate. I don't know, but it was VERY disturbing to me.

And then, that question; "When I was a kid, I always wanted to be _________. "

And after that, I got stuck with the questionnaire. Time passed, and I wasn't able to finish it.

Well, I have an ambition; 1. To fall in love; 2. To be filthy rich

When I was a little girl, I would always imagine that some amazing guy would kiss me and take me away from the wretched place I was in. Ok that was pretty dark, nonetheless, I did fall in love, and now I've just fallen deeper.

I'm still working on No. 2 though but were getting there and right now, I'd have to say that I did okay.