A Promising Pamana (Part 2)

Since we moved back at my mom's place, I kept on remembering my teenage years and how horrible I was before I became a parent. I was miserable, pessimistic, pathetic, and I really had low self-esteem back then. Remember Marlin from Disney's Finding Nemo? Yes, I was a Marlin like my mom and my husband was well, just a little bit like Dory (minus the short-term memory loss - which turned out to most likely reflect me after I gave birth to my eldest). He's (my husband) a little bit of a happy-go-lucky person, he enjoys and savors each moment like it's his last, has a simple and happy outlook in life, and looks for solutions to problems rather than whine (which makes me the total opposite, Ha ha!).

My mom and I we shared the same Marlin attitude (whiner, nagger, fearful and paranoid). Our mother-daughter relationship has had many ups but mostly downs. I could never understand her, what she did, and I'm sure there are still a lot of things she would do that I won't understand. But because she's my mom, and because I want to save our relationship, I would accept her as who and what she is because I love her. However, I think this is going to take long unless she opens up to me once in a while. We are very different people. Now that I am a parent myself, I see some of her in me, but I also see a lot of gaps and indifference we both have for each other. Oh yes, we had issues. . . and we still have them up to this day. Sometimes we just let the issues die down and move on with our lives and not talk about it. But when we're both all boiled up inside, ayun na! Everything just flies out of our mouths. Sumbatan to the blues.

For a more clearer description of what our relationship is like, you can watch the newest teleserye of ABS at prime time, where Kim and Gerald stars in. The relationship of Celine and Gwen perfectly mirrors my relationship with my mom and sometimes I thought this is the one thing I will never do to my kids. As much as possible, I want to learn how to trust them, understand them, support them, and nurture them with all the love and care that they need. I don't and I refuse to be the "praning" mom, the overprotective mom, the nagging mom, the discouraging mom, the negative-thinker mom, and most especially, I will not allow myself to be the mom who humiliates her children in public.

Thanks to my husband and my mother-in-law, I've realized that change for the better is good than no change at all. After all, change is the only constant thing in this world right?

When I ponder and look back at myself before I became a parent, I regret the fact that I was too proud, too tactless, naive and down right mean.

These are some of the things I pondered on while listening to the priest's sermon (Ha Ha! A great loads of flashbacks of memories just because of one sermon, eh?).

If there's one thing we could pass on to our children, its not only education, not only our earthly possessions and material wealth but we could also pass on to them the good values , and how to have a positive outlook in life and the right attitude that would eventually make them a better person in the future. Hopefully, they too, can pass it on to their own children someday.

Kabutihan. . . Magandang asal. . . Those were the exact words the priest told us. We not need to complicate it because in its simplest form, we are asked to do the just good not only to our fellowmen but most importantly to our families. After all, it is our family that should be there for us and no one else. Apart from our office mates, our clients, our colleagues and our friends, of course, we should be able to show more goodness or kindness to our own family first than to other people.

'Di ba, it would be much better when we hang out with bunso sometimes? Or go shopping with ate? Or help kuya with his chores? Or go to the market with mom? Or bring dad a nice cup of coffee at work?

I know some people are afraid to be rejected when they make an effort to please their parents, that is why I am proposing this kind of "Pamana Project" to our kids and for the next generation as well.


Let us all go forth and have the joint effort to spread the good deeds out there and become better parents to our children. STOP! Being "praning". STOP! Being pessimistic. STOP! Humiliating your kids in public. STOP! Talking bad stuff about your kids and telling it to your other relatives. That's just wrong. STOP! Whining.



Instead, START being supportive, START having a positive outlook in life. START giving your kids a break every once in a while. START to smile a little more or laugh your lungs out. Breathe . . . relax . . . they're not going to be kids forever right? :-)

Mom, this is for you.